Scribblers Ring


The Emperor's New Saucepan

August 2008 by Mark Hoffmann

It's a Scots-French fusion place
Jacques Straps
in Soho

a celebrity endorsed
deep fried
wallet emptier.

"Madame and Youse Jimmy
from our specials board:
Escargot in a porridge coulis
and Tartan tarte tatin."

She sips her Irn-Bru..
He reaches over
clasps her hand in his


that for the rest of their lives
they never ever
eat this kind of shit again.