On a roll

March 2008 by Mark Hoffmann

I have used toilet tissue for years
in fact almost all my life
and I've never given it much thought.
But today I noticed on the pack
the words, 'No animal testing'.
Does that mean that others do?

So now I have this vision:
fifty beagles in fifty cages
a scientist in a white coat
walks from cage to cage
wiping fifty doggy bottoms
 
notes down on his clipboard
how many wipes it takes
to get a spotless bum.
 
That's one more thing I've learnt
and now at last I understand 
the significance of the Andrex puppy.